To The One Who Thinks Jesus Should Leave

Dearest Gentle Reader,

There is a kind of fear no one really talks about.

Not the fear of demons.
Not the fear of darkness.
Not even the fear of failure.

But the fear that comes when Love finally finds you.

I used to wonder why Peter looked at Jesus after the miraculous catch of fish and said:

“Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.”

It confused me.

Because if I had witnessed such a miracle, I thought I would cling to Jesus tighter than ever before.

I laughed at the people in Gerasenes too, the ones who begged Jesus to leave after He delivered the mad man in their land. How could anyone witness such power and still push Him away?

Until He found me too.

Until grace touched places in me I knew did not deserve touching.

Until God answered prayers I had no right to ask.

Until He loved me in moments where I had nothing to offer Him in return.

And suddenly, I understood Peter.

Because when you have spent your life believing love must be earned…
grace feels terrifying.

When you are used to affection being transactional…
undeserved kindness feels suspicious.

When your entire life has taught you:
“Perform first.”
“Earn your place.”
“Pay people back.”
“Don’t receive what you cannot repay.”

Then the love of Jesus will undo you.

Not because He is unsafe,
but because He is unlike anything this world taught you.

I remember feeling so overwhelmed by what God had done for me that I almost felt unworthy to continue walking with Him. I thought:
“What do I even have to give Him back?”
“How do I repay Him for this mercy?”
“Surely people like me should stand at a distance.”

Then someone told me something that changed me forever:
“Tosin, it was by grace you were saved. You did nothing to earn His rescue. Your only responsibility is to receive it.”

Receive it.

It sounded too simple.
Too free.
Too scandalous.

But that is the offense of grace:
Jesus already knew everything about you before He called you closer.

You are not shocking Him.
You are not disappointing Him.
Your weakness did not cancel His decision to love you.

The enemy wants to magnify your unworthiness until you run from the very Presence meant to heal you.

That is why shame says:
“Hide from God.”

But grace says:
“Come boldly.”

Shame says:
“You are too filthy to stay.”

Grace says:
“I already washed you.”

Shame says:
“You must repay Him.”

Grace says:
“It is finished.”

And perhaps that is why Jesus never listened when Peter said:
“Depart from me.”

Instead, He answered with purpose.

As though He was saying:
“Yes, Peter, I know exactly who you are.
Come with Me anyway.”

Dear reader,
you do not have to clean yourself before approaching Jesus.

You do not have to become worthy before receiving love.

You do not have to repay the grace.

You only have to receive it.

And maybe today, instead of asking Jesus to depart from you because you feel inadequate…
You can let Him stay.

With love,

Oluwatosin🌹
A fellow recipient of grace.