The Journey of Becoming

Dearest gentle reader,

Since I started this journey of becoming all that God has called me to be, I have realized something:

Becoming is beautiful, but it is also deeply stretching.

Honestly, I can’t begin to count the number of times it has felt as though my skin was peeling off, or as though I was being broken into pieces, only to be put back together again.

So many ideologies have been challenged.

So many values have been reshaped.

So many things I once believed about myself, about life, and even about God have had to be revisited.

And somewhere along the way, I have had to learn the posture of meekness.

The posture of simply saying,

“Lord, make me.”

Because that is what I want.

I want to be all God has called me to be.

I want to fulfil destiny to the full.

I want to live completely surrendered to Him.

I want to die empty, knowing that I gave everything He placed inside me back to Him.

But right now?

Ah.

How do I even explain this season?

I feel like I am shedding.

As I walk this path, the fruit of the Spirit is being tested in ways I did not anticipate. My patience. My gentleness. My self-control. My love. My ability to remain kind when I don’t understand what God is doing.

There are moments I catch myself falling and think,

“God, I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

And somehow, just when I think I have reached the end of myself, strength rises again.

So I press.

And the more I press, the more I realise that I am being made.

Perhaps that is the mystery of becoming.

You think you are simply walking through a season, but God is using the season to work something into you.

You think you are losing pieces of yourself, but He is removing what cannot go where He is taking you.

You think you are being broken, but He is making you.

And there is this quiet knowing in me that when this season is over, I will look different.

Not perfect.

But refined.

Like gold that has gone through the fire, stripped of its impurities.

Like clay that has become pliable in the hands of the Potter.

Like a vessel that has finally learnt not to resist the hands of its Maker.

Malleable.

Flexible.

Available.

Ready for the Master’s use.

There is still so much mind renewal to be done. So many things God is teaching me. So many ways I am learning to unlearn.

But that doesn’t mean I stop being about my Father’s business in this season.

I still serve.

I still build.

I still show up.

I still pursue purpose.

Only now, I am learning that God isn’t just interested in what I can do for Him.

He is deeply interested in who I am becoming while I do it.

And perhaps that is the most beautiful part of this season.

My Father is with me in the process, but He is also waiting for me at the other side of it.

He is both in the fire and at the end of the tunnel.

So, dearest Becoming One,

Let’s enjoy this journey together.

Let’s not rush the pruning.

Let’s not despise the breaking.

Let’s not mistake the discomfort of growth for the absence of God.

This season will not last forever.

And somehow, I believe that when we look back, the story will be worth telling.

I would love to hear how your pruning season is going, if you don’t mind sharing.

But if you do, that’s okay too.

Either way, I am sending you loads of love from the King’s palace.

Bye for now.

Your sister,

Oluwatosin 🌹